puzle bobble

something is puzzling me a little...

can a girl who is in a serious relationship actually have a no-holds platonic relationship with a guy who is not her partner/bf/other half (?)

there was this one instance whereby my father asked us(the family) that very same questions..
amidst a very firm 'NO!' from my sis and a 'That shouldnt be the case' from my mother and just a blur 'huh' from me.. my dad said well X came to my office for advise with his very female 'bestfriend' , how did he know she was X's bestfriend ? simply becuz she was introduced to him that way.. which while quite normal usually ..
actually sent alarm bells ringing in my dad's head as X was very much engaged to my C.
at that time we didn't think much of it cuz hey.. there can be exceptions rite.. we gave X the benefit of our doubt..
unfortunately ( you knew this was coming rite...) the engagement was broken off. by my C.
not becuz of the best friend, but because of a drastic change in character & lifesyle.. irreconsilible differences basically..

so anyways.. my point is... question marks naturally form in my head when a girl gushes so much praise and whatnots all-the-time to her guy bestfriends and says not a whisper about her beloved bf who im sure hase been with her through ups & downs and helped her become the person she is etcetc

mayb im being gender biased or feministic or something i dunno..
cuz i wouldnt raise questions if it was a girl/girl bestfriend combo..
so anwyays... yea...
*knocks head*

what i am

you're a great guy,
you're a wonderful guy.
and you may even be the better guy, but

'but he's the one.'

And i wish he wasn't.

'he's gonna hurt you again'

free period.

i remember, there was a period of time during high school,
that i had on a mask all the time..
i was totally shut off in my own world..
noone knew the real me, what i was really feeling
perhaps it was was adolescent angst
i wouldnt know .. i just remember that what i presented to everyone around wasnt real,
wasnt true.
i also remember, how tiring it was always hiding what i feel.

and then, i grew up.
i grew more confident in myself, my abilities, i didn't feel the need to hide what i was feeling anymore. it didnt matter anymore what people's reaction to what i was feeling could be.
i didnt have to proove myself to anyone. not as a person anyways.
i didnt and still dont ( within certain boundaries ) care what people would think about my actions
perhaps also, it just got too tiring to hide.

though i doubt this 'couldnt care less' attitude isnt at all healthy rite..

i feel

like a lil part of me is dying each day

that i hate what im feeling, i dont want to feel this way

what he is feeling ~ 90% of it , all the emo-ness of it..

anxious, panicky, tired, worthless

oh-so-depressed [not a good thing at work really ]

hungry [ pretty random but naturally common occurence with me so ignore ]

like todays not gonna end..

someone please help me.

i read somewhere..

..on someone's blog spot..

"i remember how he used to wake me up - both the nice way and the naughty way, which was also nice."

brought a lil smile to my face..
cuz the writer was so cute about it..
and becuz i also remember... so many things.. O_o

Executive.

i am as of today an
executive. HAH.
urm....well.. work has yet to come in as
ive yet to go through orientation by the various department..
though i have sat in on several meetings/brainstorming/updatesession which made my head *spin*
too much input of info at one go..
oh well... one day at a time..
HURRYYYY!!

ppl have been msging me asking what ive been doin on my first day..
and the answer is NOTHING!
though, i suppose, pretending to be busy doing work is also SOMETHING..
though i was doin research and all.. reallly.. truly... 0_o