if

if i could take away the pain by lighting up
if i could take away the pain by drinking
if i could take away the pain by slashing my wrists
if i could take away the pain by not breathing
if i could take away the pain by not feeling
if i could take away the pain by going to sleep and not ever waking up
if i could take away the pain by reading
if i could take away the pain by shopping
if i could take away the pain by ignoring everything
if i could take away the pain by taking some pills
if i could take away the pain by dancing
if i could just take away the pain, i would.

but i cant, and because i cant, i suffer.

thank you.

This was from you to me..
Right back at ya..=)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~From Loving You~
(I had you, I had everything I ever needed)
From that first look I knew
I found heaven in your eyes
But who was to know, the way it would go
I have no regrets
Glad I let you in
Wouldn't have missed one single moment
I would do it all over again

'Cause I was loved
I was touched
And I learned what love is, and I learned what love is
I was blessed
So blessed
'Cause i learned what love is, I learned what love is
From loving you

(I held you, I held everything I ever dreamed of)
With that first kiss from you
All this world seemed all so right
But who was to see the way it would be
I'll never forget
All the heaven we shared
And I'll thank God for every moment
Every moment that I had you there

I was loved
I was touched
And I learned what love is, and I learned what love is
I was blessed
So blessed
'Cause I learned what love is, I learned what love is
From loving you

(Some people search their whole livesNever find what I found in your eyes)
Glad I got to get the chance to Have you in my life
I won't be sad when I look back
'Cause I was...

I was loved
I was touched
And I learned what love is, and I learned what love is
I was blessedSo blessed
'Cause I learned what love is, I learned what love is
From loving you

What's in a Name so divine??

What's in a Name ...seriously??

In Japananese.... my christian name in japanese means...

..... Hara (wilderness) Chiaki (very fine in autumn) .....

Hmm.... not very feminine sounding though.....i feel...

I prefer this one....

My Fairy Name..... (This one is based on my Full name..)

.... Dandelion Petal Sweetie-pie ....

This one I like better... ^_^

Dance

~We're Dancing~

When the going starts to get rough
And you feel like you've had enough
Let the music take control of your soulT
ake a chance and do what you feel
You're a force they cannot live without it
You gotta break the chain
There's a passion inside
An inner strength that drives
Can't nobody take that away from you
It's the greatest highY
ou set the floor on fire when you come alive

And we're dancin'And it feels alright
I can't control my desire
And we're dancin'And it feels alright
And we're dancin'And it feels alright
Can't hold me down
Gotta reach for the sky
And we're dancin'
And it feels alright

Some people don't know the love you possess
They pretend what they don't understand
It's natural You're in a world of your own

Push it too the max
Feel the room fall at your feet
Don't you dare hold back
Cuz it feels so good
It feels alright
There's a passion inside
An inner strength that drives
Can't nobody take that away from you
It's the greatest high you set the floor on fire
When you come alive
And we're dancing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really admire the passion and drive that i see in dancers.. Such passion to just give it their all, not caring what others may think or say... Just the willingness to flow with the music, to follow wherever the rhythm may lead.
Dancing. Such a blessing from God. Dancing enthralls me. Can dancing be my passion?

God's list

~Past~ ~Present~ ~Future~

Abundant Love Abundant Love Abundant Love
Faithful Faithful Faithful
Total Trust Total Trust Total Trust
Full of Hope Full of Hope Full of Hope
Always Affectionate Always Affectionate Always Affectionate

*He never forsakes, always forgives & is always there for us/me*

my list

~Past~ ~Present~ ~Future~ *

sweet dreams bittersweet dreams ?
lil hugs & kisses nil ?
hope for the future can't see beyond today ?
faith for tomorow just faith ?
a whole lot of trust a lil bit of trust ?
idealistic still [darn] idealistic =P ?
lots of ups , lil bit of down nothing ?
whole in pieces ?
a lot of love what is love ?

* Just what i feel at the moment, God willing, the future will be different *

His Plan

"For I know the plans I have for you,..plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you"

~Jeremiah 29:11-14~

unwilling

i can switch from a skirt to jeans,
i can switch from fries to vegetables,
i can switch from white to black,
i can switch from chocolate to strawberry,
i can switch from fast to slow,
i can switch from happy to unhappy,
but i Can't switch from With You to WithOut You.

Can you? i can't believe you can..

*whoever said 'its better to have Love and Lost then to have never loved at all' obviously didnt know what pain was.

bereft.

No more hope.
No more dreams.
And I think at times, no more faith.

Trust is and always will be an issue.
For me.

My Insuffiency, Your Happiness, A Sacrifice.

At the darkest times I wish i never met you.
At the brightest times I wish we could do do it all over again.