unto you

dwelling so deep
into my self
my brokennes
my despair
my disappointments
my hurt
my betrayed trust

suddenly
i recall
the very same thing
happening
to You.

You were betrayed
You were hurt (more then i could ever be)
You were disappointed
You were in despair
and above all
You were broken.

and i am humbled and ashamed.
because you do understand
more than i could imagine.

and so

i Bow to You.
i surrender to You.

and i press on.

Everything and the Moon

"You know I loved you. You know I love you still."

"You gave me the moon. No, you did more than that. You picked me up and put me right on it"
"And then I fell. And it hurt so much when I landed. I dont want that again."

"It wont happen again."

"Don't you see? It has already happened twice."

"I'm not being vindictive. I'm being honest. And I didn't fall of the moon that time. You pushed me."

"Then let me make amends."

"Don't make this so hard."

" And why the helll should I not? You tell me why I should make it easy for you to walk out of my life again."

"I never walked out on you. You left.You."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everything and The Moon ~ JQ

"here i go scream my lungs out and try to get to you"

melodies drifting through and over me
bringing back memories
both old and new
both bitter and sweet
of laughter and sadness
of confusion and doubt
of certainty and affection
taking hold of that part of me
that part of me
which i wanted buried and left alone.
a string that's been broken
can't be reconnected again.
a paper that has been crumpled
can't be made smooth again.

no idea of where you are
no idea of where you're going
no idea of what you're going to be.
my only idea is that i'm still so
irrevocable & irrepresibly drawn to you.

patience is a virtue, i tell myself
i will wait till im worn out
till im so broken you cant even pick up the pieces
but
hopefully it wont come to that
i may be helpless but i am still hopeful.

a different life

"the grass is always greener on the other side.."


being one of those who made the decision to go feast on the grass on the other side,
i can safely say well... its a different type of grass yes but its just like any other grass...
green some parts, dry and withering in others, flowering at some and dirty in others...

i am such an idealist.

almost here

Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears '
cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind id left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

try

All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry, the more i cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try

All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love

[NF]

cry

Cry love
Cry war
Cry innocence
That is lost forever more

Cry joy
Cry thief
Cry beautiful
That is just beyond belief somewhere

Cry at the end
Cry cause it all begins again
Here you are
And so am I
And we cry

Cry alone
Cry to me
Cry freedom
Then let yourself be free
To shed the tears
That have to flow
To hold somebody close to you
And then to let them go

Cry at the end
Cry cause it all begins again
Here you are
And so am I
And we cry

Cry peace
Cry hate
Cry faithlessness
Then just have a little faith

Cry at the end
Cry cause it all begins again
Here you are
And so am I
And we try to be true
Try cause we're all about this too

[ as sung by Hillary Duff; not that i especially like her... but her lyrics carry so much meaning.... ]