strength

dugged deep
how do i survive
how do i climb out
of this
pit hole
of past failings
damaged pride
battered soul
lost love

its claws are at me
in search of
any nook and cranny
ever ready to hook on
for dear life
and i mean that literally
ready to
anchor me
deep within
its abyss of dark
neverland

it will never end
i am not strong enough
to stop it
from haunting me
from keeping me
wide-eyed
cautious
uncaring

wheres my salvation
in my desperation
i am blind
to the things
that could possibly save me
i see things
in which there is nothing
and where there is nothing
i hope to see something, anything

my strength has but all been bled away
God help me.
i am sinking.
into nothingness
my cowardice prevents me
from
wordly salvations
the fire in my spirit
flickers too briefly to
allow for spiritual interlude
so what else do i have left.
God help me
i am dying.

if i am not already dead.