intuition

girls intuition.
i never paid much attention to my supposedly girly intuition.
but sometimes there is that feelin inside you, ever growing, ever knowing, constantly present, prodding you with that itty gritty knowledge that if and when it is ever spoken as the truth, would break your heart, poision your soul and scar your life.
intuition.
it happened to me once.
i am hoping, praying, crossing my fingers, ignoring the prodding that i sometimes feel and wish upon my mending heart, healing soul and scarred life that this time it wont happen again.
intuition.
when it fails you, you breathe a sigh of relief and move on.
when it is proven real, you pick up the pieces and try to move on.
intuition.
would you rather have the knowlege or is ignorance bliss?
you can only be ignorant to a certain extent i reckon.
after awhile, however much you run and hide, it will catch up to you.
the truth hurts. or rather the truth tears you up inside out, brings your life to a crawl, brings you to your knees praying 'God please take it away...' and makes you clench your fingers into a fist hoping for some physical pain to take way the other pain.
and yet after,
you learn to live with the hurt, with your mockery of a life, you learn who really are your kindred spirits to you dying breathe.
you have to after all experience the pain, the sadness, the dissappointment, the regret;
to truly appreciate and expereince the joy, the happiness, Life.