disillusioned:

--> to leave without illusion or naive faith and trust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me :
I am disillusioned.

You:
About what?

Me:
about how even celebrities cant have a happy and lasting marriage
about how even celebrities are unable to keep their promise to be faithful
about how even though i see many happy couples around me i see equal number if not more unhappy couples beside me
about how promises arent taken seriously
about everything!!

You:
But why are you disillusioned?

Me:
dunno. perhaps cuz im angry. angry that im missing out and angry that im not missing out.
*unintelligible curse*

You:
sour grapes maybe?

Me:
errrrrrr not exactly......
i dont know how to explain what im feeling

You:
just dont think about it then..

Me:
my books no longer provide me with an escape route, at least i dont think..
at times they even makes thing worse by filling my head with endless fairytales, happy endings..
im mad that i cant have what i want and what i have i dont particularly desire.

You:
everyone feels like that..

Me:
so?

You:
*speechless*

Me:
*sulks*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'someone turn around and see me cry'

someone save me.